I'm not much into the journal writing, actually I sort of hate it, but whatever, this time is worth it, so here it goes:

It all happened 23 years and 9 months ago when I was just an eager little sperm waiting to get out of one of my dad balls (huh, yeah!). Atmosphere was fucking fantastic indeed, there were like a dozen billion guys looking just like me (awesome, ain't it?), we had cold drinks, nice music and a swimming pool... Well, actually there was not a swimming pool, but hey! we were all having a great time playing cards, laughin and chillin' out, until... everything started to shake (insert earthquake sound here), and then................ Boom!, a sort of super ultra powerful flow of liquid made us fly out of our cozy shelter (yeah, it was more powerful than the Major Ocean Surface Currents or the Niagara Falls themselves).

However, it was a funny trip out of there, it was like those huge modern rollercoaster things with your I have just shitted my pants-face photo included! Anyway, after riding off the coaster I thought: "Well, uhmm, I think this is what they call the funny feeling experience". Hell yeah it was! By the way, the place we all end up in was gorgeous, I was atonished by its beauty although I have to say it was not very well lit, but good place after all. Sooooo, after picking up my souvenir photo, tying my sneaker shoelace and turning on my X-Sperm-Vision (you know, beacause of the lack of light in the cave, haha) the race started !! (insert middle age trumpet fanfare here or the classic gun-shot, whatever you like the most)

We ran swam for like 9.14159265 hours with no pit stops! (Damn, I was way better than some olympic athletes, yeah) Anyway, as the time passed by, some of my "me's" were unfortunately dying , poor them, so young, so little, so LOSERS !!!! At the goal, the cute little soft ovum was calling me with that sexy voice: "fertilize me, fertilize me" But I couldn't do that because one last live sperm was there by my side. He told me: "Hey you, I'm Ben, get the hell out of my way"; of course he didn't even finish his lines because I beat him with my 0.000000000021 inches baseball bat that I was very conveniently carrying in my backpack . After one single hit, I got him out of the field, it was a hit that Babe Ruth himself would surely envy. Therefore I did what the sexy ovum was asking for

After that, it all happened pretty fast: I began to deform inside my mom's belly. My head was not just a head; I started growing eyes, a mouth, ears, a nose... My sperm tail was everything but a tail, it turned into a whole body with bigger muscles than Silvester Stalone's (I wish, ha!). I was there, inside mom for 9 months, until in 1986, the 17th day of October at 19:21 I came out.

In a few hours it will be 23 years and 9 months since that stupid Ben told me to stay away from the sexy ovum. It will be 23 years since my mom screamed like never before so my dad and she could have me in their arms. It will be 21 years since I said my first word. 17 years since I attended to my first class. 13 years since I had my first wet dream (LOL). Seven, since I had my first real girlfriend and met my best friends. Four, since I decided to become a pro animator. Almost one year since I got a job as a motion graphic designer at an International TV Channel. And, in a few hours, I will turn 23, so, happy birthday to me !!!